W.W.B.D. (What Would Grandpa Bud Do)

Everyone has someone that plants a seed of positive growth within them, apart from member(s) of their immediate family. Usually it’s not just one person, but a collection of different people planting different seeds within that encourage or inspire you do want to the similar thing, either because of wanting to be like the planter, or because they’re so passionate and sure about it.

I had plenty of physical fitness seed planters, from many of my Uncles to Mr. Bloom, my Phy. Ed. Teacher in junior and senior high schools, even people who probably didn’t know they were planting a seed (like the guy doing walking handstands at the St. Paul Ski Club, (I started practicing those immediately after that, and still do!)

Especially there was my martial arts instructor Karl Sanders who was so passionate, hard working, and positive about the many values of martial arts; plus he set the tone because he would lead the class every time, and put more effort into the exercises than anyone, so that you would always have a high expectation goal to try and reach.  That’s who I patterned all of my training towards, both for personal training clients and personally.

There were knowledge teachers that encouraged mental growth, especially my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Roofe, teachers that encouraged having a more positive mindset, like Jermaine Davis, the super positive Interpersonal Communication teacher at Century college, as well as the philosophy teacher, a year later, whose class was so tough, but who made you think and question so much during each one (who would of thought a philosophy class would have been challenging, not me until that class).

Then there is usually one person that is an especially good role model that sets the barometer high for a number of things, but all under the umbrella of especially good character, by consistently being a really good human being that everyone could look up to, and setting great examples in so many ways.

For me that person was my Granda Bud.  He planted so many positive seeds, and in such a wide variety, he’s the person I’ve been thinking of lately as the kind of person I should strive to be more like.

I’m going to list a number of seeds he planted below; some have been watered consistently, others haven’t and need to be attended with more practice, and that’s the goal moving forward.

Though it’s New Years day, this isn’t a resolution, (and not because over 90% of New Year’s resolutions fail,) it’s more of a “choose you own adventure” style goal setting/lesson template to follow.  Like any muscle, with practice these traits can be strengthened, and my goal is to just keep practicing these Grandpa Bud-isms, and when I find myself in a difficult situation, or negative mindset, I’ll simply ask, “what would Grandpa Bud do.” Accompanying each “lesson” is a motivational quote to back the benefit of the trait.

Grandpa Bud would always come up to visit with us in Minnesota a few times a year, driving north from Woodstock, Illinois, and he always brought his trademark energy and positive, hardworking habits along with him.  He’d take us on adventures, often road trips to the Dakota’s in the summer (where Grandma was born and had relatives,) always stopping along the way at parks to do fun stuff, and always making sure we stayed at a hotel that had a pool.

In the summer for a few years, my Dad would go off to commercial fish for sockeye salmon in Bristol Bay, Alaska and for the six weeks or so he was gone, Grandma Bud would stay with us, and though he was in late sixties, he was always extremely active (for any age,) always moving around, always doing something physical, often outside, full of positive energy, and encouraging us to do the same, mostly through example, or his matter of fact style that any problem had a solution as long as you put the effort in and put on your “thinking cap” (as he’d often say).

He never once taught by preaching or looking down upon you, he just gave you alternatives for how a problem could be solved, laid out the ways to do so, then took action and showed how to do it.  He was a man without unnecessary talk, but when he spoke, action always followed in accordance.

Lesson 1: Lead by example with your actions, not just words.

“After all is said and done, more is said than done.”  

-Aesop

That doesn’t mean he would take the slighest bit of shit.  If you ever tested him by being selfish, he was extremely fair and just.  As soon as you realized your error it would quickly be forgotten.  Ice cream tantrums by a very young brother, whining by myself about wanting to have a troublesome neighbor kid over-who he instinctually knew was bad news and didn’t like being around, though he never said it aloud.  He would tolerate him usually, because we liked him.

Lesson 2: Be nice to others, but not so nice as to where they will take advantage of your kindness, as then you will both end up on the losing side of the equation.  Think of the tale of “The Scorpion and the Frog.”

“Please all, and you will please none.”

-Aesop

At the same time..

Whenever he took his afternoon nap, he and my younger brother would play hide and go seek with “G.I. Joe” figurines. While he napped my brother would sneak around the living room hiding figurines in plant foliage and other places, often casting an eye towards Grandpa Bud as he dozed off to see if he was peeking with a barely opened eye, as he rarely, but sometimes did to rile my brother. He would always give it away with a sly grin though, often turning into a laugh when he was busted.

I highly doubt it would be an activity the stoic Grandpa Bud, (who trained Air Force navigators during World War 2,) would be doing if it wasn’t for the benefit of his grandson’s amusement, but once the G.I. Joe’s were hid, And Grandpa Bud waas woken from a sound slumber, he would slowly come to, then act as if there was nothing more he wanted to do at that moment.

Which wasn’t actually at all just an act, because though he may have not spent his free time playing hide and seek with G.I. Joe’s, he did find great enjoyment seeing how much fun my brother had doing the activity, and the light in his eyes always shined a little brighter as he searched around for the G.I. Joe’s, which he usually found pretty quickly, often to the happy befuddlement of my brother, who would often exclaim, “how did you know it was there.”  He would often think he had a really good new hiding place, and sometimes he did, but more often than not, even if it there was good hiding spots, they would be quickly discovered.  Which is why each hiding spot was accompanied by a watchful look towards Grandpa Bud to see if he was watching.

I remember a short time after the ice cream tantrum in the garage, my brother had calmed down and cautiously approached for a game of G.I. Joe hide and seek. Grandpa Bud showed more enthusiasm than usual to show all was forgotten.

Lesson 3: Forgive quickly, and don’t let grudges linger. Look for the goodness in others, and don’t judge them based on their temporary faults.  Take something positive away from any situation, and learn to be better from the experience in the future, then live in the moment, instead of the past, even if it’s recent.

“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  -Malachy McCourt

After that day, my brother wasn’t “liable” to throw an ice cream tantrum again, nor was I to throw one of my own, as initially I was taken aback by his gruffness, which I’d never seen, and felt empathy for my brother, even though it was a needed teaching moment (for both of us).  Liable was a word Bud often used, possibly subconsciously encouraging a stronger vocabulary within us, as eventually we would naturally inquire as to what it meant, in the process also planting a seed of wondering about how many other words existed that we weren’t familiar with.

He was also a great driver, not the typical senior citizen plodding around, forgetting to use a turn signal, or holding people up. He was always using his turn signal, accelerating as needed when pulling out on a highway, as to not impeded another’s progress, and whenever he parked in the driveway, he would drive his caravan up to within an inch or two of an object, often grinning as I craned my head forward, sure that we were going to hit it whatever we pulled up to.  As he was doing all of the above, he would give a running dialogue via a learning lesson like, “I’m going to use my turn signal a bit before merging so as to allow the other drivers enough time to let me in,” or when doing the close parking job he’d say, “you’ll see I have a few inches of space left yet.” I’d always jump out to inspect how close he was after he parked, and he never hit anything, even though the bumper was often within an inch or two of the object.

Lesson 4: Plant a curiousity seed of the physical or mental variety, and let it grow by itself, leading by example with action and words at the same time.  Over saturation of anything leads to a diminished outlook, and eventually stunts or kills growth.

“Happiness held is the seed. Happiness shared is the flower.”
-John Harrigan

“From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.”
-Aeschylus

The only other time I remember testing him was when I wanted to have the troublemaking neighbor over again, and the neighbor kid kept encouraging me to keep asking Grandpa Bud, after he initially said more than a few times (as he wanted to focus on building an elevated fort for us in the backyard).  I would of never normally challenged the word of Grandpa Bud, but sometimes peer pressure pushes you to do things you wouldn’t otherwise do, so I continued to ask, finally wearing his admirable patience thin.  He finally replied matter of factly that my friend could over, but in exchange he would be departing back to Illinois for the summer.

It was a very easy choice, and I started helping with the construction.  Or at least monkeying around in the vicinity and taking progress pictures, helping when needed.

Lesson 5: Don’t always be thinking of how a situation can just benefit you.

“Selfishness it not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”   -Oscar Wilde

I have an omnipresent image of him standing in the summer sun in the family yard, with the sun gleaming off his shaved head, with the faint smile he often had, with a tool in his hand, usually a shovel, often wearing a white t-shirt with a single pocket, where he always kept a handkerchief, to wipe the everpresent sweat off his brow when he was outside, (when he was inside or when he’d go out he was always crisply dressed, usually wearing his English driving cap, which I still have today.)  Though in his late sixties, Grandpa Bud was always staying occupied doing something physically active, and it was obvious when you looked at his physique; he had noticeably strong arms and large muscular hands, and could likely crush your hand with his trademark greeting; a firm, but not crushing handshake, that everyone from the extended family always seemed to seek out as soon as he walked in a door.

Lesson 6:  Share your strength with others, but don’t use it to make them feel inferior.

“Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.”

–Plato

Anytime you asked him to do anything of positive value, respectfully, and within reason, he would always oblige.  As I always loved throwing the baseball more than just about anything, and was always super persistent about getting anyone to play catch with me.  Grandpa Bud was always game for a session until his arm pretty much gave out.

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.”
-Charles Dickens

Looking back, just realizing it now, I have the mental image of playing catch with him, and he had a hitch in his arm everytime he threw, which probably made each throw a painful endeavor, which isn’t surprising as he was in his late sixties, and also throwing a baseball is an extremely unnatural motion anyway.  Even so, he would play catch until he couldn’t anymore, and sometimes he would throw underhand too, to extend the session.  We would also drive down to the local ballfield and he would pitch to me, wincing at each innacurate throw, and admonishing himself for not throwing better strikes.

Part 2 continued here; W.W.B.D. What Would Grandpa Bud Do (Part 2)